I hate parties.
Hiccup stood on the sidewalk in front of Anna's house. He glanced over his shoulder, wondering if it was too late to turn around and run home.
It was Elsa's birthday today, and Anna had been insistent on a big party. She'd begged Hiccup to come- and the teen really didn't want to. He stepped backwards slightly, leg shaking as it touched the pavement. His brain begged him to turn around and run. He swallowed.
" If it gets bad, Toothless will come and pick you up." He mumbled to himself, holding a wrapped gift close to his chest, as if the present would protect him. Hiccup forced himself to walk, to knock on the door, to not burst into tears when Anna threw it open, smiling brightly.
" Hiccup!" She exclaimed happily, pulling him inside and hugging him.
" H-hi A-Ann-na." The brunette said softly.
" Elsa's still upstairs, but everyone else is here!"
" Oh that's...great!" Hiccup forced a smile, awkwardly handing his friend the present for her sister.
" Yeah, she's kinda shy, but i'm sure she'll be down in no time!"
Anna went through everything all really fast, speedily listing where the bathroom and kitchen was, alerting him to where everyone was; the living room. Hiccup nodded, and when she bounded off, he stayed by the door. The teen gravitated against the wall, standing awkwardly in the hall, hugging himself loosely.
Jack was at this party.
Hiccup whimpered, sitting on the stairs, wrapping his arms around his knees. His mind was reeling. He had to hide this crush for an entire night, had to pretend he was normal in front of everyone.
Hiccup stood on shaky legs, taking a step towards the mirror that hung on the wall. He stared, unwavering, into his own green eyes.
What's wrong with me?
He looked the same as everyone else on the outside.
The inside was the problem.
The brunette whipped around, frightened.
She didn't see, did she?
" Come on silly, you look plenty pretty. We miss you in there." The redhead grabbed his wrist, forcefully pulling him into the one situation he desperately wanted to avoid.
Everyone was sat in a circle on the floor. Merida forced Hiccup between her and Rapunzel; directly across from Jack. Rapunzel smiled sweetly at her friend, patting his leg to comfort him.
She knew something was bothering him. Hiccup never had the nerve to tell her what, and she never pressed to know, but she comforted him anyway. Merida had gotten as far as to discover it had something to do with Jack, but she assumed it was just his crush on the teen, and had- lovingly -threatened to punch Hiccup in the stomach if he didn't confess. Her blue eyes watched him knowingly now; and even if Hiccup knew she'd never punch him, it still made him nervous.
The last thing he needed was his friends trying to figure out the truth.
" Well, let's get started!" Anna said loudly, pulling out a bottle of Frozen Heart soda, " You all know the rules. I'd much rather play this with Elsa here-" Anna suddenly looked very longing, "-But we have to do SOMETHING while we wait for her to get down here!"
She placed the bottle in the middle of the circle.
" Jack's turn first." Merida said fast, her hand closing around Hiccup's wrist.
" I'm not playing." Hiccup stammered, trying to stumble back out of the circle.
" Hiccup?" Rapunzel said softly, eyes worried.
" You okay?" Anna asked him.
Hiccup looked frantically between the three of them.
Jack had a strange look in his eyes as he spun the bottle; almost like he knew. Like he knew every frightened thought rushing through Hiccup's mind.
It was cruel fate that led the bottle to point straight at Hiccup.
" I'm not playing!" The brunette begged, still attempting to force his way out of Merida's grip.
" Merida.." Rapunzel said softly. She'd caught on to what Merida already knew.
Her knowing gaze made the redhead release her prisoner.
He didn't know where he was going, he didn't care, he just had to get away. He needed to escape. He plunged up the stairs, taking them two at a time, whining under his breath when he heard Jack's voice calling for him. He took a right turn and threw open the first door on his left; the door decorated with blue.
" Oh!" Elsa exclaimed, standing up from her seat at her vanity. Her wet, white hair was pulled over her shoulder, the brush still in her hand.
And then he cried.
The tears poured down his cheeks, shoulders shaking with sobs. He covered his mouth with his hands, embarrassed and afraid and tired of holding it all in.
" Come and sit." Elsa said, gently leading Hiccup over to the bed. When they were both sitting, she swiped her cold hands over his face, wiping away all the tears. Hiccup sniffled, opening his eyes again. As she sat straight and tall once more, Hiccup noted the rather regal appearance about her. She behaved almost like a queen, of some sort.
" You need someone to talk to." She said.
" Then will you tell me what's wrong?"
Blue eyes searched green eyes.
" I....I'm different."
Elsa nodded slightly, trying to process the information.
" Nobody e-else thinks like me...all my friends...l-like i'm broken, m-messed up..."
Her question was the most painful of all.
" Because i...i hate..hate s-sex. It's disgusting it's not love...i-i don't know what it is but it's not l-love...it h-hurts me...my stomach twists up, i get h-horrible hot flashes...i heat up and i heat up and i can't escape it! If they knew they'd think i was crazy and i bottle it up and bottle it up but how can you explain to your friends why you suddenly look so sick and upset?? How can you explain to your friend that you can't kiss him when the bottle lands on you, because you're afraid to get trapped in that closet, afraid to have more asked than you can give and have your secret revealed when you freak out?! How can you explain that you want a relationship, but can't have one, because who could ever love a freak!!"
As he became more and more upset, Elsa reached out her hand to stop him, but held back. She let Hiccup let it go, knowing he'd concealed the truth for long enough.
But when the teen stopped, his head hanging in defeat and tears dripping down his chin and neck, she reached out to him, lifting his chin with her hand.
" Hiccup...you aren't crazy."
" I-i'm not?"
" No." Elsa smiled and gave a tiny, breathy laugh, " You're just asexual."
She smiled, motioning for him to make himself comfortable.
" And if you'll just stop crying for a little while, i'll tell you all about it. <3"
" So...that's me?"
" Mmhmm! Isn't that better than thinking you're crazy?"
Hiccup smiled a little, rubbing the back of his hand across his eyelids to get rid of the tears.
Without warning, he pulled a very startled Elsa into a hug.
" Why don't you want to be at your own party?"
" I...i'm not really one for parties. You see...i'm a bit shy, and i have this thing about dirt....but if you'll be there, i think i'd like to come."
" And besides- you have a crush to talk to."
Hiccup's eyes got wide, and his heart skipped a beat.
" So, Hiccup, would you do me the honor of escorting me to my birthday party?"
Anna jumped up as Elsa walked down the stairs. She paused before she ran to her sister, but when Elsa smiled she bounded across the room and threw her arms around her.
The teen sat up straighter from his spot on the couch, visibly deep in thought.
" Hiccup would like to have a word with you...in private."
" Elsa-!" Hiccup whimpered, and the girl shushed him.
Jack nodded, standing up and walking towards the stairs. He reached for Hiccup's hand but the brunette shied away, walking two steps behind Jack.
Elsa looked over her shoulder, Anna still happily hugging her sister.
" There's a closet to the left, third door on the right."
The two boys sat together in the cramped space. It was dark, soothingly dark. Hiccup could barely make out the outline of Jack, who sat across from him in the closet. He jumped at the sound of the older teen's voice.
" You know you don't have to do this if you don't want to."
" N-no you..you deserve to know-"
" You're obviously uncomfortable."
Hiccup burst into tears for the second time that night.
Jack leaned towards him in the closet, hands lingering on the brunette's cheeks even after the tears had been wiped away.
" Just start slow, trust me."
Hiccup nodded, " O-okay...okay."
Jack didn't sound confused at all. He seemed to...seemed to know.
" Don't start with the hard part. Start with something easy. Can you tell me your favorite color?"
" Green...i-it's green."
Jack smiled, " Mine's blue."
Hiccup smiled a little.
" Easier, huh? Okay, Superman, or Batman?"
" Ooooh, Superman. But Batman's pretty cool too."
Hiccup laughed a little, relaxing.
" Okay, okay, one more question. You ready?"
" Yeah..yeah. Ready."
" Do you like me?"
Hiccup froze up, but forced himself to look where he knew Jack's blue eyes were.
" Yes...i do, i like you...b-but you won't like me because i..i'm-"
" You're what?" Jack said softly, waiting patiently through Hiccup's stammering.
What was that word Elsa had used?
" ..I'm asexual."
Jack nodded knowingly, letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.
" Is that why you didn't want to come in here?"
Hiccup nodded, sniffling.
" Well, i have news for you then, Hiccup. I'm asexual too, and i figured out you were before you told me. I know that it can be really hard sometimes...but isn't it nicer now that you told me? Don't you feel better?"
" I do..." Hiccup said softly, not daring to bring up the fact that he'd confessed to liking Jack.
" And i have something else to tell you too." Jack smiled, holding Hiccup's hands.
The brunette blushed.
" I wanna tell you that i like you too, and would be very, very happy if i could have that kiss now <3"
Hiccup giggled and nodded, letting Jack pull him into his lap.
As Hiccup had his first kiss, he smiled, and two very special words flashed through his mind.